do you ever wonder...

do you ever wonder...

Why do things happen the way they do

is there a reason for the pain

everything's so complicated, there is nothing clear in this brain

it's seems each feeling is different,

it's like there is no good or bad anymore, cause the feelings are so complicated,

and "fine" is the better word ever

I wish I knew when I'm happy, I wish I would feel something else than jealousy, fear, anxiety, loss, questioning...

I wish I would not be only "fine" sometimes.

I want to feel this fire again, give me love, give me pain, give me a real life.

Do you ever wonder..

why we have the life we have?

well, I'm too dependant, I should learn how to live alone (are you meaning that I'll finish alone?!), and I should know what I want. But I'm fucking spending my time looking for myself, wondering who I am, and I can't find.. And it is probably better when you know who you are..

I'm C. Thérèse. Marie. B. Henderson. L.
Marie Henderson.
Thérèse is dead.
(why do people always give alive people some dead people names?)

I am Marie Henderson.
I love north countries.
I like helping people. (but some guys say I'm selfish)
I don't want to be a teacher.
I don't want to make everything wrong. (But I think that's exacly what I'm just doing)

I am Marie Henderson.
And I don't know what is right and what is real anymore.

Utopist

A politician died today. A communist. Like me. And today I found the faith back. The faith in whatever I wished for.
I wish for a new world. I wish we could resolve inegalities, I wish men and women are going to be the same, I wish everybody is gonna have the same rights, I wish we gonne find a way for our nature, our global issues, I wish people will understand there is no way to kill somebody, I wish our world's gonna be safe for children, I wish torture is gonne leave, so far away, never heard about again.
That is what I am. I am an utopist.
But that seems so clear to me.
That no man should take away some other man rights,
that no man should take away a woman rights,
that no man should take away a child rights,
that no man should take away the nature rights.
I wanna fight.
For ever.
I wanna find the way to feel better.
Because I stay in this world without fighting.
I can't see people hurting and do nothing.
I can't.
Some that is called communists.
Some people hates communists.
Maybe you are one of them.
That is just what I am.

Please tell me that's gonna be allright, cause I'm so scared, so sad, don't you see this world?
don't they see it?